Movie Review: Going Greek

21 02 2011

Going Greek bills itself as a cross between Animal House and American Pie…which is a shame because it doesn’t really need to stand on the shoulders of either film. The movie is not only worth watching, but highly entertaining and should have no need to pass itself off as a direct-to-dvd clone of either of the aforementioned movies. Though the movie does feature Chris Owen (yes…the Shermanator), he is playing a vastly different role than previous films.

Before I laud its hilarity, let’s get a few things out of the way. The plot will not blow your mind nor will it win an Academy Award any time soon. Set in Every-Stereotype University, Jake, an embittered ex-high school football star, is convinced to pledge the “coolest” fraternity on campus. Reluctantly, Jake has decided to pledge in order to protect his nerdy cousin, Gil, who desires nothing more than to belong to Iota Chi Omega. Toss in a hot female co-star that takes a liking to Jake, but despises all fraternity men, and you’ve just finished Plot Writing 101.

With that said, Dublin James (Gil) and Laura Harris (Paige), in addition to a horde of other no-namers, work to make this movie amusing, shocking and funny. From naked scavenger hunts, all-night beer fests and keg parties to sorority swapping and other creative pledge activities, we get to see an eclectic group of men go through pledgeship. Shockingly enough, from my own experience with a fraternity, the film actually captures what it is like to be a pledge fairly well. There are, of course, other-the-top moments, but many events in the movie are not that far off.

Though not really known by, well, anyone, Going Greek is a movie worth watching. It may be fair to state that it belongs in the 18-25 bracket, but I think even the older crowd could get a few laughs from this raucous picture. With movies like Meet the Spartans making it big, I find it disheartening that comedic gems such as this get left in the dust.

I couldn’t find a trailer for the movie, but you can check out a funny clip here.

Rating: 8/10

-Chad 2





Movie Review: Predators

17 01 2011

Robert Rodriguez’s Predators caters to fans of the franchise. If you only had a passing interest in the first two Predator movies, I would recommend skipping this one entirely. The Easter eggs concealed within the film are numerous and pay homage to both the original films and the diehard fans. The premise of Predators is simple enough: the Predator species (a warrior race) import Earth’s toughest warriors to their game preserve in order to do battle and hone their own skills. As one would imagine, this rarely turns out well for the hapless humans.

From the opening shot, Predators takes off like a bat out of hell. The action and suspense keep going right up until the credits roll. Our human protagonists don’t spend much time talking about their situation other than a few one-liners. One of the big qualms people had with this film was the lack of a backstory. Would it really have helped the plot for you to know how the Predators managed to kidnap these humans and transport them all the way back to their planet? Probably not.

The tone of Predators is somber. Unlike the atrocity that was the Aliens Vs Predator movie, Predators harkens back to the original Schwarzaneggar movies and remains deathly serious throughout. For the most part, the movie feels very ’80s like. Rather than try to confuse their audience or throw twists and turns into the script for shock value, Robert Rodriguez relies on good ol’fashioned scaring to make his viewers squirm in their seats.

I was also surprised at how much I liked the cast. Topher Grace ended up being a stand-out role, but the short film time given to Danny Trejo was a travesty. Adrien Brody was tolerable as a lead role and the rest of the cast, doing their best to avoid overacting, picked up the slack.

Can't say I was a huge fan of the new Predator designs.

In conclusion, my favorite part of this film was the homages it paid to the original two Predator movies. I am a big fan of the series and sort of a geek, so homages are like nerd porn to me.

Some of my favorites:

  • The classic Predator (ie, the look of the original Predator) is seen for the first time in 20 years
  • During one scene, a creature pursuing Topher Grace through the jungle is based on concept art from the original Predator
  • As the credits roll, Little Richard’s Long Tall Sally plays. Yet another homage to Predator
  • One of the cast, while fighter a Predator screams (in Russian) “You are one ugly motherfucker!!!”
  • One of the characters rocking out a mini-gun

The myth, the legend, the Classic Predator.

Overall, Predators isn’t going to make you rethink your lot in life. It isn’t going to have you cheering for it at the Grammys nor is it going to wow the movie world with its special effects. However, it is well-executive, tons of fun and has great action. I definitely recommend it, especially if you are fan of the Predator series.

Post-script: Laurence Fishburne’s character in Predators was superb and the acting behind it even better.





Movie Review: Daybreakers

15 04 2010

Set in 2019, Daybreakers presents an alternate future in which a plague has transformed the human population into vampires. Now, as the remaining human population dwindles, supplies of blood are dangerously low and Armageddon for the immortal vampires loom. If a new blood supply isn’t found soon, the vampires will begin to revert to a primitive form, completely devoid of rational thought. Only 5% of the world’s population remains human and is being hunted relentlessly.

The Spierig brothers hit a homerun with Daybreakers. I’ve strayed away from vampire movies due in no small part to the ridiculous romanticizing that the Twilight series has caused. I wasn’t even that excited for this movie. After Interview with a Vampire, Underworld, and Blade, there aren’t many bloodsucking movies worth watching.

This one, however, is. The Spierig brothers could have went the easy way with the film and created a gothic dystopia. They didn’t though. They created a world that suited a culture that was normal apart from being vampires. For instance, one cut scene shows a School Zone sign that says “No Parking on School Nights – 2am-3am.” In another scene, we see a commercial discussing the Subwalk. An underground sidewalk that crisscrosses the city so that vampires can go about their business even during the day.

The lead role of Edward Dalton (played by Ethan Hawke) shows us that not all vampires were turned by choice. Dalton was forcibly transformed by his brother and wars with himself because of it, taking a job as the chief hematologist at a large blood farm in order to find a cure.

Sam Neill plays Charles Bromley, Dalton’s boss. He illustrates to the viewer that people are happy being vampires. No more cancer, no more death, nothing.

Daybreakers succeeds because the movie steers clear of traditional bloody scenes and gory action. The vampires themselves are normal everyday people and the Spierig brothers did well to avoid any sort of mephistophelean complex. The film does have its share of shock moments, but they are few and positioned only in sections to advance the storyline.

My only complaint with the film is that sometimes the acting can come across very dull and two-dimensional. Other than Willem Dafoe’s character (a human rebel), the other characters can come across as positively monotonous.

With all that said, I would easily recommend Daybreakers to anyone. The movie is superb and the storyline, perhaps not 100% original, simply works.

-Chad 2





Please Don’t Do It: Attack of the Hollywood Remakes

11 03 2010

I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon of attacking Hollywood for their lack of new ideas when it comes to making movies. Avatar was awesome and it is simply a combination of Dances with Wolves and Ferngully. However, there are some movies that should be protected as endangered species. Some movies that should never be remade. They were perfect the first time around. Below I present to you a list of my most dreaded Hollywood remakes that have been confirmed.

Robocop
Original Production Date: 1987

The first Robocop was a disturbing look into a seedy underworld of cop-killing criminals. Though it had some campy moments in it, the movie dealt with serious issues such as Officer Murphy (the man who is the “flesh” of Robocop) dealing with losing his wife and son. Though Robocop 2 and 3 were exercises in sci-fi cliches and an ever shrinking movie budget, the original still provided an excellent commentary on capitalism and human nature.

Expected to be produced in 3D, the new rage, Robocop 2010 is being produced by a branch of MGM Entertainment. Having been in production since 2006, the film has been plagued with stops and starts due in no small part to the studio’s lack of support and their own money woes. If this film sees the light of day, I imagine it will appear rushed and cheap. I can’t imagine anyone replacing Peter Weller as Officer Murphy, either. I will, as required by man law, watch this movie but I have no preconceived notion that I’ll enjoy it.

Open Date: None announced


The Karate Kid
Original Production Date: 1984

Oh, dear god. The original Karate Kid made Ralph Macchio and his crane-style kicking a household name. Throw in a little Mr. Miyagi (played by the venerable Pat Morita) and you have an epically good teenager flick. Even the sequels, Karate Kid 2 and 3 were okay. I choose not to even acknowledge the travesty that was The Next Karate Kid. It couldn’t get any worse than that.

And, of course, I was wrong. In the remake, our Daniel Larusso-esque is now a little ghetto boy played by Jaden Smith (Will Smith’s son) and mentored by Jackie Fucking Chan. Are you serious? Jackie Chan is the epitome of “campy.” I don’t think he has ever played a serious role in his life. He looks like he is constantly smiling. You get a guy who takes a role not once, not twice but three times with Chris Tucker and put him in position to play one of cinema’s most recognizable characters? Facepalm.

Open Date: June 11, 2010


Short Circuit
Original Production Date: 1986

Johnny 5 is alive! Short Circuit was one of those movies that was great for kids but possessed enough adult humor to make it fun for everyone. Number 5, voiced by Tim Blaney, is an experimental military robot that begins to develop free thought and intelligence. The movie follows Newton Crosby (Steve Guttenberg) and Stephanie (Ally Sheedy) as they interact and try to figure out their new robotic friend.

Dimension Films cited the popularity of Wall-E as the main impetus of remaking Short Circuit. The only glimmer of hope I have for this project is that Robot Chicken scribe, Dan Milano, has been hired on to write the script. In the same vein, this worries me. Johnny 5′s humor has always come from him learning new things about the human way of life. I’d hate to see him turned into a cutesy, stupid robot (ie, Wall-E) that bungles through the film.

Open Date: Sometime in 2011


Police Academy
Original Production Date: 1984

Where do I even start with Police Academy? A movie containing virtually all no-namers (at the time), the series shattered comedic movie norms. Directors learned that they could make an off-the-wall comedy without drifting into “spoof” territory (Airplane!). From Tackleberry to the legendary sound specialist Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow), nearly every character in Police Academy was memorable.

Steve Guttenberg, who played the main character Mahoney, has cited that many of the original actors (such as Kim Cattrell) as returning for the movie but others (Sharon Stone) had declined. I have mixed feelings about this remake. I think remaking a movie with the original actors is kind of pointless. Kind of like painting a red car red. However, I would loathe to see a Police Academy that ran rampant with Seth Rogens and Jonah Hills. Don’t get me wrong, I like those actors, but not for these roles.

Open Date: None announced


The Crow
Original Production Date: 1994

The majority of you have probably never seen this movie before. Based off of a graphic novel by James O’Barr, The Crow tells the story of an innocent couple killed by criminals. Their love was so strong that one of them, Eric Draven (played by the late Brandon Lee), returns from the dead to seek vengeance. The story might sound cheesy, but the movie is awe-inspiring. So much so, in fact, that it quickly developed a cult following. Unfortunately, later incarnations of the Crow (2, 3, & Wicked Prayer) fell well short of fan expectations.

The remake, as stated by director Stephen Norrington, plans to move away from the established universe of the The Crow. I’m not only bothered by this, I’m downright disheartened. There are certain things that make the Crow the Crow. When you see golden arches, you think McDonald’s. When I see a white face with black lines drawn around the eyes, you think The Crow. As with every other incarnation of The Crow, I will watch it. However, I’ll be silently praying for Rob Zombie’s Crow: 2037 to see the light of day eventually.

Open Date: Sometime in 2011

-Chad 2





Movie Review: Generation Kill

30 12 2009

Joining the ranks of other HBO hits such as The Sopranos, Band of Brothers and Sex & The City, Generation Kill stands as a genre-defining series that everyone should see at least once. Even if you are not an avid fan of so-called “war movies” the dynamic of these shows makes them accessible to anyone.

Generation Kill is based on a book written by Rolling Stone journalist Evan Wright. During the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Wright embedded with a platoon of Marines from the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion for two full months. While in Iraq, Wright was encouraged by the Marines he was with to write about everything that went on, even the potential “bad” stuff. The Marines didn’t want to appear as though they were modern-day Captain Americas nor did they wish to be viewed as Baby-Killing Monsters. In the first episode of the series, one soldier describes the Marines as “America’s Pitbull.” The metaphor could not be more apt.

The series is brutal, often filled with obscenities and military jargon (though it is surprisingly easy to figure out). Don’t expect to watch Generation Kill and come away with a warm, fuzzy feeling. It simply isn’t that sort of story. In addition, the sets and environments add no small dash of realism. If any of you have ever seen Band of Brothers, you can expect the same level of production and attention to detail in Generation Kill.

Alexander SkarsgĂ„rd, portraying Gunnery Sergeant Brad “Iceman” Colbert, leads an impressive cast of virtual no-namers. You will most likely not recognize a single actor in Generation Kill save Lee Tergeson as journalist Evan Wright. The cast performs well with each other in their camaraderie, pestering, and infighting. On the whole, they truly appear as a unit that has trained, fought and bled together.

The series does have a dark side though: it is real. Well, as real as one could hope for. Due in no small part to this series, quite a few Marines were disciplined. Generation Kill does what no movie I’ve seen has, in that it shows some of the faults and mistakes of the American military. Usually known as a juggernaut composed of well-trained, highly-professional warriors, Generation Kill showed that there are always bad apples mixed in amongst true heroes. Characters such as “Encino Man,” a Captain that almost calls down artillery on his own men or “Captain America,” an officer that almost executes innocent Iraqi prisoners due to his own paranoia.

I’ve talked to a few true Iraqi War veterans about the series and they resoundingly agree that Generation Kill is about as realistic as you can get without going to Iraq. I felt that I was able to relate more to this series than Band of Brothers (one of my perennial favorites) because it actually happened during my time on this planet. While watching episode 1, my wife commented that the soldiers “looked really young.” And they are. They are our age and that, in itself, is a tad bit terrifying. You owe it to yourself and everyone that fought in the Iraqi War, to watch this series.

-Chad 2





Movie Review: Avatar

21 12 2009

So, here it is, the movie I so desperately wanted to hate. In fact, I almost refused to see Avatar in general until one of my friends pestered me into seeing it in 3D this past Saturday. I couldn’t possibly fathom liking this movie. I felt that $500 million (movie+marketing budget) was just way too much to spend on a simple movie. On top of that, with the economy in the crapper, I was horrified that a studio would spend half a billion dollars to produce what was essentially a rehashed science fiction movie thusly severely limiting their potential fanbase.

Without sounding entirely too arrogant, I am rarely wrong. I fail, however, to remember a time when I was this wrong. As in, completely and utterly wrong. Clocking in at an impressive 2 hours, 40 minutes, James Cameron’s Avatar is easily one of the best movies I’ve seen in this young millenium. Despite all the internet hate directed towards the movie (I counted myself among such a crowd), Avatar has stunned me into silence. I can’t even aptly describe the movie to people. It is such a visual masterpiece that it simply must be viewed to truly be appreciated.

The movie begins in the year 2154 where humans have mastered some sort of intergalactic travel that brings them to Alpha Centauri and the moon Pandora. On Pandora, humans have discovered an unimaginatively named “Unobtainium” ore that goes for “$20 million a kilo back on Earth.” (Though, in hindsight, they never really explain what it does.)

Soon enough our main character, Jake Sully played by Sam Worthington (Terminator: Salvation, Clash of the Titans), makes his appearance. A typical brash young Marine, Sulley lost the use of his legs during said military service. Jake’s brother, Thomas, has recently been killed (though no explanation is given here either). Thomas Sully had been heavily involved in the Avatar program headed by whatever corporation is running the show on Pandora.

An avatar is a mixture of the Na’vi and human dna genome to replicate one of the 9-foot tall, blue luminous creatures stalking Pandora. Through special technology, the operator is able to transfer their mind into the body of the Na’vi and interact with the “real” Na’vi as one of their own. Jake is assigned to a group of scientists headed by Dr. Augenstine (Sigourney Weaver).

Soon thereafter, Jake manages to get himself lost deep in the jungles of Pandora and eventually in severe trouble. A female Na’vi, Neytiri (played by the luscious Zoe Saldana), saves Jake’s life begrudgingly. Eventually, our hapless hero finds himself deep in the Na’vi village. After much debating, and some fighting, it is finally decided that Jake (referred to constantly by the Na’vi as Jakesully) should train in the ways of the Na’vi Warriors so that he may learn their culture.

That is about all the plotline I’m willing to give away. What follows is a whirlwind adventure as Jake slowly learns to not only be Na’vi, but to love being Na’vi. Obviously, the leader of the American forces, Colonel Quaritch (played by Stephen Lang), isn’t thrilled about Jake flirting with the natives. Soon enough, both sides find themselves embroiled in a nasty war that will decide the fate of Pandora.

Avatar will stand as a genre-defining theatrical production in regards to the visuals it painted on the big screen. Cameron was wise to wait until technology had caught up enough for him to make the movie he always envisioned. The detail (individual sweat glands) in each Na’vi is mindboggingly. Each Na’vi was made unique to their character and this truly added to the realism of the film.

Indeed, it was incredibly difficult to tell where the “real” components of the film ended and the CGI began. Obviously, you know that there is no Pandora nor does the military have 12 foot tall armored suits nor do giant blue half-naked natives exist, but you honestly forget all that while you are watching this movie. Three hours fly by as even supposedly boring parts of the film intrigue the viewer’s eye with a level of detail I’ve never seen in any movie. Ever.

As corny as it may sound, my favorite part of Avatar was the environment. James Cameron painstakingly crafted an alien world replete with its own plants and animals. The creatures, both large and small, scary and cute, were individually created with loving care. The scenery was breathtaking as the viewer is transported from floating mountains to lush jungle paradises. I hate to wax poetic, but it is extremely difficult to describe the film to someone who hasn’t seen it.

Also, Neytiri is oddly arousing.

Try not to listen to the naysayers. There will always be people out there that hate the “it” thing just to hate it. Watch and judge for yourself. I should note, however, that if you’re looking for a movie whose plotline is Oscar-worthy, you’d be better off looking elsewhere. Yes, as the critics have remarked, the plot seems to be the biggest sinkhole for an otherwise flawless film. However, one must remember that this is a science fiction movie and therefore follows a formula used successfully for half a century. Watch Avatar for what it is and I promise that you will love it! Try to turn it into something its not and you’ll leave disappointed.

Graphic Design Note: Sorry to veer off here, but did Cameron really have to use the Papyrus font for the subtitles/main title? I mean, in that $500 million he couldn’t set aside a little dough to find a graphic designer worth their weight in Wacom tablets to either handcraft a font or pick something that isn’t universally loathed in the design world? Really James? REALLY?

Sorry. Just watch Avatar.

-Chad 2





Movie Review: The Blind Side

15 12 2009

The Blind Side
Alcon Entertainment 2009

Thanks to the modern marvel that is the internet, I was finally able to view a DVD-quality version of this film. Before we get started, I guess I should mention that I’m biased towards this movie for two reasons: 1.) I’m an absolute sucker for “feel-good” stories and 2.) I’m a diehard football film fan. I’ve even seen The Replacements….more than once. On purpose. The Blind Side, however, does not follow the dramatic (The Program) nor the comedic (The Longest Yard) nor the cynical (Any Given Sunday) formula to success. For once, Hollywood created a story that is more or less true-to-form.

The plot of the movie goes something like this: “Depicts the story of Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, taken in by the Touhys, a well-to-do white family who help him fulfill his potential. At the same time, Oher’s presence in the Touhys’ lives leads them to some insightful self-discoveries of their own. Living in his new environment, the teen faces a completely different set of challenges to overcome. As a football player and student, Oher works hard and, with the help of his coaches and adopted family, becomes an All-American offensive left tackle.”

Sounds a tad bit Lifetime-ish, right? I thought the same thing going into it. However, director John Lee Hancock does an amazing job of showcasing this rags-to-riches story. Oher, portrayed by no-namer Quinton Aaron, is shown as a below-average student that has a bad case of running away from trouble. After being taken away from a crackhead mother and learning that the father that ran out on him so long ago is dead, Oher finds himself sleeping in laundromats and gymnasiums. That is, of course, until Leigh Anne Touhy (Sandra Bullock) discovers him and invites Oher to their massive home.

Quinton Aaron as Michael Oher

The next hour or so finds us watching Oher transform from a downtrodden youth to a confident man. Bullock delivers an Oscar-worthy performance as the ferocious matriach of the Touhy family. When I saw her sporting blonde hair and a fake southern accent in the previews, I dreaded having to listen to her for an entire cinematic experience. However, I was proved wrong and rightly so.

Bullock and Aaron act well when on screen together. Though I was not floored by Quinton Aaron’s acting as Michael Oher, it is undoubtedly difficult to find many actors that fit an Africa-American, 6’5″, 350lb build. Another stand out in the film came in the form of the youngest Touhy: 7-year old Jae Head (SJ Touhy). Head, despite his age, acts on a level I’ve rarely seen from a child. Though his role was easily defined as comedic relief, the relationship he develops with Oher is adorable if not a tad sappy at times.

Sandra Bullock as Leigh Anne Touhy

For those of you that don’t know the full story of Michael Oher, there was quite a bit of controversy regarding his college career. You can read more on that here. I was pleasantly surprised that Hancock elected to add these scenes into the end of his movie. Most filmmakers would’ve left on the “feel-good-everything-went-better-than-expected” note. Though the film doesn’t go into great depth regarding the NCAA investigation, the fact that it at least touched on was more than enough for me.

All-in-all, The Blind Side won’t bring you to tears, but it enough to make you get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. While the movie may be just as easily at home on ABC Family it certainly deserves a place in anyone’s DVD collection.

-Chad 2

EDIT: I forgot to mention that many real NCAA Football coaches made cameos in the movie. It truly added to the realism and humor. In particular order: Phillip Fulmer (was Tennessee head coach, now out of football), Lou Holtz (was South Carolina head coach, now does TV), Houston Nutt (was Arkansas head coach, now Ole Miss head coach), Ed Orgeron (was Ole Miss head coach, now assistant at Tennessee), Nick Saban (was LSU head coach, now Alabama head coach), Tommy Tuberville (was Auburn head coach, now out of football).





The Dark Knight is Confused

11 12 2009

Absolutely hilarious.

-Chad 2





Yup, It Is Real

5 02 2009

I can’t even find a summary for what this movie is about. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. You can find the item here. I don’t think I need to go into further detail. Enjoy. On a sidenote, the kid does look like a fat Jim Carrey.

-Chad 2





Movie Review: Yes Man

15 01 2009

Jim Carrey broke in to mainstream super stardom as the bumbling pet detective, Ace Ventura. With his rubberface and perfect delivery, Carrey quickly established himself as a slapstick-esque comedian. After two Ace Ventura movies, Carrey began to resist being typecast as a “stupid-humor” type of actor. I can imagine that he probably assumed no one would ever take him serious as an actor while he was running around in a tutu pretending to be a mentally-ill football player, and rightly so. However, his attempt to break out of this mold met with little success as his roles in Number 23, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and the Majestic never came close to the popularity of his comedic movies (Liar, Liar and Bruce Almighty).

In Carrey’s newest movie, Yes Man, I believe he has finally found a happy medium between his two extremes. I’ll admit that I believed this movie would be nothing more than a poor man’s Liar, Liar, but I could not have been more off base. Yes Man finds Carrey playing the role of Carl Allen, a depressed loan officer that passes on every opportunity that comes his way in life. A random encounter with a friend from his past brings Carl to a seminar about the power of saying “yes” and accepting each set of circumstances that comes your way.

At this point I felt the film was going to go the way of Shallow Hal and have Carl brainwashed, but I was relieved to find that Carl would make all these “yes” choices of his own volition. The movie follows his life as he finds that the world has so much more to offer than watching rented movies alone on your couch. Through a chance adventure, Carl ends up meeting Allison (played by the very talented Zooey Deschanel). Allison acts as a further catalyst for Carl’s seemingly random life. From taking Korean classes to flying out to Lincoln, Nebraska on a whim, Allison falls deeply in love with his spontaneity.

I won’t spoil the ending, but suffice it to say that it deals with the ability of humans to make their own decisions and the results of said decisions. I can’t say enough about Carrey’s superb acting in this film. Alongside Deschanel, Carrey’s natural acting prowess shines through to make Yes Man one of the best movies of a young 2009. In fact, the only part of the entire movie I disliked was the Red Bull scene shown in the movie trailer as Carrey comes across as overbearing and a tad childish. However, director Peyton Reed found himself a winner with this one and I look forward to seeing what he conjures up next.

-Chad 2








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